Here, I am using this song and it’s lyrics in a scenario where a sinful person is struggling to resist the temptations to sin, because he has been in sin for so long that now he has lost an immense portion of his active will, and cannot live and function properly without giving in to temptations and committing sin, like an addict who does not delight in his addiction, and yet cannot function without it.
He knows that what he is doing is wrong, but cannot help himself out of it, so he cries out his struggle. As sinful creatures, we can all relate.
In the Holy Bible, St. Paul in the book of Romans explains this topic by the inspiration of The Holy Spirit:
15 What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate.
16 Now if I do what I do not want, I concur that the law is good.
17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.
18 For I know that good does not dwell in me, that is, in my flesh. The willing is ready at hand, but doing the good is not.
19 For I do not do the good I want, but I do the evil I do not want.
20 Now if [I] do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.
21 So, then, I discover the principle that when I want to do right, evil is at hand.
22 For I take delight in the law of God, in my inner self,
23 but I see in my members another principle at war with the law of my mind, taking me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.
24 Miserable one that I am! Who will deliver me from this mortal body?
25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord. Therefore, I myself, with my mind, serve the law of God but, with my flesh, the law of sin. (Romans 7: 15-25)
For a better understanding of this passage, click HERE and use the timestamp: 19:00 – 25:10.
Now, let’s dive deep into this song, lyrics and the scenario.
The song is in Hindi but the background female voice is in Serbian. In this scenario, the main person is the struggling sinner and the female voice is his temptations to sin.
I have tried my best to translate the lyrics accurately, since the word for word translation does not help much, but you can always visit and see the meaning of them HERE.
I am dying, I am thinking of you
Do you know, my beloved
Now I don’t see you by my side
I don’t see you by my side
Look! I long for you.
(Translated from Serbian)
The song starts with the female voice which I have identified as the call of temptation and sin. She manifests in the person’s heart and mind as a gentle lover who is dying to meet him again. She thinks about him as he thinks about her. She thinks about him, like a demon who constantly plots to trick humans into committing sin. She wonders and questions him about why he is not receiving her invitations this time. He is trying to resist her charms and shut her off and she knows it, yet she keeps trying her best to get his attention.
My helplessness expresses, (that) I cannot do anything at this moment
My helplessness expresses, (that) I cannot do anything at this moment
Should I squeeze the essence of my desire?
Come! I want to break you in my arms
I do not know what I want, to snatch you or to leave you be
What do I do at this moment? What do I do at this moment
What do I do in this moment so that I may find peace, find rest?
He voices his helplessness against temptation. He finds his mind and willpower frozen, as if his body is out of his control. He looks at his desires as a fruit (like a coconut which is popular in India), and contemplates whether to squeeze it or not. He knows that fruit is always sweet, just like he knows some sins such as lust always feel good.
For a moment, he wants to break that coconut with his arms, no matter how hard its crust is, he still wants to do it. But again, he contemplates. He is unsure this time. He thinks about the times where the fruit of sin was sweet, and yet it never gave him peace. Instead, it kept taking away his peace and added to his restlessness.
(Even in the context of the actual video clip, the couple are committing adultery. The heroine is cheating on her husband, and you can clearly see how they resist and yet give in to sin).
Let there be more and more, let my breath be loud
Let the flames rise even more
Let there be more and more, Let my breath be loud
Let the heat rise even more
Let there be more and more, let us meet again (and) burn even more
I meet you for the first time, each time
My helplessness expresses…
Turn your gaze towards me
Immediately, the person starts to experience the burning of desire and gives in, so he expresses how that unwillingness to sin and the inability to control feels.
He acknowledges that what he is doing is burning him, and yet he keeps saying let there be more of that. He burns in his desires, yet he delights in his gasps and for the heat of sin to keep rising. He enjoys the flames of temptation and to keep burning in them again and again.
The nature of sin and desire is so appealing and addictive that he compares the ecstasy of doing them to the concept of love at first sight. If he was doing something normal over and over again, he would get bored, like having your favorite meal 3 times a day for a month, but sin doesn’t have that effect. He points to its addictiveness, yet his joy and excitement of doing it repetitively doesn’t fade away, rather it keeps growing. For a moment he is self aware of his helplessness, his sin notices it and lures him back. His temptations always want him distracted.
Should I snatch you or leave you be?
Should I ask for you or turn you away?
What do I do at this moment?
What do I do at this moment so that I may find peace, find rest?
Let there be more and more, Let my breath be loud
Let the flames rise even more
Let there be more and more, Let my breath be loud
Let the heat rise even more
(Who am I?…)
Let there be more and more, let us meet again (and) burn even more
His mind and actions go back and forth. He is contemplating whether to just give in, be done with it and face the consequences of his sobriety later, or turn her away from the door and live with the burning sensation of addiction. Either way, he thinks there is no peace for him, he feels no rest for his soul (and the high note of the singer may point to a moment of peak frustration where someone might even think about ending their lives because of hopelessness).
As he is thinking, stalling and denying his desires, the burning sensation returns and forces him to remember how good it felt when he gave in, so he again calls to her and by default asks to get burned intensely and repetitively. His desires call to him, reminding him why they’re good together, and he acknowledges her.
I am entangled in string of desire, please unbind me
I am a knock and you are like a bolted lock, please open
Helplessness has settled in my heart
Come, live your dream (while you can)
Let there be more and more, let my breath be loud
Let the flames rise even more
Let there be more and more, let us meet again (and) burn even more
He visualizes his state of mind as a person who is twisted in strings and cannot escape, like a fly caught in a web. Helpless, he remembers God, and begs him for help, but in his sinful state, he sees salvation as a bolted lock on a door that he knocks and begs it to be opened. He asks Jesus to come to him and live his dream.
Jesus’s dream (wish) was to save mankind from sin when he was on earth, and he knows it, but he also knows that some people sink so much in sin that they begin to like it and never wish to get out. He knows some people choose to be separate from God, and he fears he might become one of them, so he urges Jesus to save him before it’s too late, before that spider of death comes and kills him.
It does not stop by blocking, It does not tire
this breath that blows like the wind
I don’t even know, what is burning and where
I am afraid
From the shivering of body and soul
From the flames of desire
(It) Blazes up and burns in flames, (then) Quenches in smokes
Smokes get into me, (so much) smoke
My helplessness expresses
My helplessness expresses
My helplessness expresses
His mental state has become a mess. He contemplates ending his life, to stop his breathing, but cannot find the courage. At this point, he has so many sins that he doesn’t even know which of his sinful desires are calling and from where are calling to him. Is it from his eyes? Hands? Feet? He feels the flames of sin calling from every part of him.
He is afraid of his body and soul shivering in excitement every time a flame rises in him, because by now he has seen that flames don’t last. He knows that the pleasure of sin is short, but the consequences of it are long and often irreversible. He resembles the aftermath of sin to smokes, and what happens when someone is covered in smokes? They suffocate and die. He is afraid of dying in sin, and from sin.